Three Stages Of a Man's Life!

SINGLE

MARRIED

DIVORCED

Find the man in the coffee beans

FIND THE MAN IN THE COFFEE BEANS :
after you find the guy -- it's so obvious. Once you find him -- it's embarrassing, and you think, Why didn't I see him immediately?


Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better develop ed than most people. If you find the man betwee n 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!

And, yes, the man is really there!!!

A man's perspective

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.



After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.



By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.



Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.



The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?



I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.



'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'



'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'



'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'



Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.



The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...



You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.



My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'



First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

Ho Cheo...

Teacher: Tom, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Tom: $10.
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Tom: You don't know my father!



Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that, but I'm going Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you now.



Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?



Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love



Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born



Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Simon: No, teacher. It's the same dog!



Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!



Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Denmark , Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me, Sir.



Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?
Ah Low: No comb, Sir.
Teacher: Use your dad's then.
Ah Low: No hair, Sir.



A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did you get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do you mean 'under water'?"
" They are all below 'C' (sea) level!"