Why the chicken cross the road?

Finally, some authoritative answers to this age-old question!

OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

MCCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

CLINTON's WIFE:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

COOPER:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .......... reboot.

EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

ALGORE:
I invented the chicken!
SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!

KUAN YEW:
We have installed crossing lights at all traffic junctions. All chickens should be able to cross safely to the other side.

HSIEN LOONG:
Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.

BADAWI:
We have to be fair to all chickens. Some want to cross over the road, some do not. ........ Zzzzzz .......zzzzzz ....... Now what were we talking about? Ah yes, chickens. We will form a Royal Commission to decide whether it is right for them to cross the road.

MAHATHIR:
Now even the non-bumi chickens want to cross the road? How can they disrespect and disregard the bumi chickens? We must be allowed to cross over first. It is our right!

ANWAR:
We have enough chickens waiting to cross over in September.

SAMY:
After we have erected the toll booths, all chickens are free to cross the road.

LINGAM:
It looks like a chicken, it sounds like a chicken, but it is not a chicken. Correct correct correct!